A Celebration of Love

I'm not entirely certain how to record the moments of last week. I'm inclined to just dump and come back and elaborate when it isn't so overwhelming. Let me apologize in advance for the length of the list. I love blogging but as the headstrong person I am, I am maintaining this as my modern day journal - a place to reflect. So this is one of those rules that I can't abide :)

- The kids - I cannot begin to explain the joy and sadness of watching each of my amazing neices and nephew deal with the loss of their great grandmother. The three oldest in one way and the three youngest in another. Sad but so blessed by the way that Nana touched their lives. Molly's private cry, Sarah's open sadness, Emma's sadness, wave to Nana and concern with the casket lowering. Grace's bold questions and later her grief as she went back to school. Ben's football twirling and concern that he'd wake up Nana. Hope's empathetic sadness that she didn't quite understand.

- The joy of our family - the amazing people that Nana brought together. My cousins and sisters. I cannot get over how lucky we are to be blessed with such love and strength.

- My wake me up in the middle of the night talk with God where He gave me really clear instructions on exactly what I was supposed to say at Nana's service. Per Bob, I called people out to come to know Jesus so they could know how we could find joy in sadness.

- My cousin, Scott, who has quite literally become a complete Jesus Freak and I LOVE IT!

- Grandchildren and great grandchildren singing joyfully for Nana's coming home. Grace and Emma holding papers that they couldn't read but insisting that they have the right papers.

- Breakfast at the fancy table with just Emma where we had a marvelous talk about school and movies and all kinds of things. It was awesome. And Hope who joined us later said that she had gotten all smiley faces the week before - quite a feet for the definition of spirited child. But the topper was this.
Me: "When you get back will keep getting them?"
Hope: "Yep - another, and another and another and another and another..... and then <arms wide open> COLLEGE!!!!" I almost cramped up laughing....

- Emily talking about her dad. The dad whose love and caring for his mother set a very high bar. He was the selfless and incredibly loving man that we know he is.

- All the Barefoot and Saylor family who love each other and come together. The sadness for Uncle George and Uncle Wes as they mourn the loss and the feeling of being a bit more alone.

- The particularly sad grieving of both Ray and Uncle Bill. Two men who don't cry. It was almost too much to bear. But on the other hand another testimony to the love my Nana shared throughout her life.

- Bob and Ray and Dan being supportive and loving when we needed them the most.

That so doesn't capture it but Daddy said that he will be putting together a booklet with some things from the memorial service and perhaps that will do it.

But as the days have worn on, I am sad as I look at her picture that she's just not there. I'm sad that there will not be any more memories made. I've said a few times since then, I can barely be patient enough not to click the mouse 6 times to allow a screen to load on the web. And now God means for me to wait however long to see her again....... comical :) But I am so happy for her. She's with Popi and her sisters and some brothers and her mom and dad and a handful of nephews and lots of people who she's known over the years who will tell her how God used her to enrich their lives. Can't think of anything else that could make us happier. Nana's home.

A Weekend to Remember

As usual, I packed it all into one day. So here goes:

- I went to visit Nana. She was not good. And I didn't expect her to be any better. We talked. She even talked. Barely a whisper but she talked. When Aunt Becky and Uncle Dave got there she said, "It's so strange - dying." It was so sad hearing her say that. I know where she's going and I know she knows too. And God is going to do it in His perfect time - even though we don't understand why it's been so slow. So in my head it seemed like I shouldn't be sad. But Sunday I was feeling ridiculously sensitive and needy and it was because I'm so sad to see her slipping away.

- On my way south I stopped at a plant and vegetable stand. Delicious red tomatos, corn, blueberries. Yum. Beginning to change gears.

- Then I was off to Caralyn Reid's house to spend the afternoon with her and Ame Matuza. Wow. I can't even describe it. I walked into the home of a woman I hadn't seen in 19-20 years and felt at home. And Ame showed up and we sat around for 4 hours and talked like we had just gotten together for dinner just last week. Story after story. Ame's an amazing story teller - Twinkie and the "tit-mobile" at her monumental Breast Cancer Walk. And with a yearbook open stories present and past about those we graduated with. It was fantastic.

- Then dinner at Mom and Dad's.

Crammed in, eh? Sad, wonderful, and full of joy.

Emotional

Today I had talks with two of the women in my life that often draw out what's eating me. Sheila and Marianne. After talking with Sheila this morning and Marianne at length this afternoon in a long overdue visit and pool chat, I think I realized what was eating me last weekend while I was riding high with joy. I couldn't figure out why I was so emotional. And after bursting into tears at least twice while I talked with Marianne, I had a thought. Sheila asked if Mom and Dad turning 60 was difficult. And really it didn't seem so. Of course, I was looking at very nearsightedly. Mom and Dad don't seem 60 so it doesn't seem as old as I thought 60 would be. However, with Nana in her final hour, maybe the whole concept of 60 to 70 being only 10 years is a little more overwhelming than I thought. Marianne pointed out that with her mom going home last year she and her sisters are now the oldest generation. Mom and Dad are soon going to be the oldest generation in our immediate family and I don't think I'm ready for that. And there's not a thing that I can do to slow down time and keep our family in this great place that we are enjoying at this very moment. And that was every moment that I lost it. When I couldn't control Bob, tiredness or the singing - I had a minor meltdown. And on the surface, it doesn't make sense that in this life full of love that brought me to tears on each of the two weekends that I would feel bad. But there is a lot going on right now that is difficult and sad and at least tough to process. So I think I'm okay with it right now - kind of letting it sink in.

Just as a little aside to some of the other things about Nana and Bob's dad and mom and dad getting older, I think one of the things that has me a little sad is that I love my sisters and their families. Not exactly a saddening thing on the outside. But at the heart of it, I wish there were more weekends like last one. I wish Carrie's family lived closer. I wish Emma and Hope were close enough that they could come spend the weekend with Aunt Dena and Uncle Bob. I wish Emily and Ray were closer too - so that going up there or coming down here wasn't such a production . And Mom and Dad and Bob and I could do a cheap dinner a night during the week. I'm grateful for what we have but sometimes, I just do some wishing.......

Inexpressible

And now it's the end of the weekend and I am far too tired to wax poetic. But I still want to get some things out while they are fresh.

- Mom and Dad were both overwhelmed. Mom said their ceremony was better than their original because she didn't remember a single thing their pastor said. This time she could appreciate every word. Lamar's message was receive each other as they are and release them to be all they can be. And years after their first vows, God is still compelling them to be more to each other for Christ's sake.

- It was so awesome to see how much mom and dad love each other - despite the bickering :).

- Our songs at their ceremony turned out awesome although none of us could look at them while we were singing.

- Carrie's cake was just beautiful and delicious too. It was a real hit.

- We got mom some flowers to hold and Emily and Carrie really hit the jackpot with some beautiful pink roses that looked just gorgeous this morning.

- Mom's friends from work and Aunt Becky and Uncle Dave and Helen and Robert and Uncle Bill were the perfect people to be there.

- I said one prayer on Thursday morning for good weather and put it in my faith jar and it was amazing. Hot enough to swim and sunny for a good part too. Pool water was only 74 but that didn't stop anyone - especially the kids :) Emma and Hope were purple:)

- More food than we needed - how unusual:)

- Newlywed game was sweet and fun. We were all the winners hearing their answers.

- Communion at Iron City this morning was a fitting end to our weekend.

- Not our best worship service but Carrie loved every second of it so somehow, it made it worth it.

- Carrie and Emily were awesome. I could not have done it without both of them and the cooperation and love of their families (especially Dan and Ray), it would have been absolutely impossible. Carrie's creativity was so great with the cake and the book and the frame. And both of them stepped up at the end when I was completely out of gas, and did a huge part of the clean up.

- Bob stepped up too. He was just awesome on Saturday. He was helping to set up with things that I hadn't even got to thinking about. And he began cleaning up when all of us were still numbed by the events of the day.

- Some mean games of cornhole were played. That game rocks.

- I love those those kids with all my heart. And I love my family. God has blessed the daylights out of us.

I was ridiculously emotional all this weekend - some of which was okay and at other times wasn't. Not sure if it was the intensity of the weekend or hormones but there were a few times when I was overwhelmed resulting in either frustration or tears.

That's all I have for now. I'm about as spent as I can remember being. In a good way. In a beautiful way.

PS - I figured out how to load my slideshow of the pictures onto the blog. If you want a bigger view then double click on the pictures. I didn't get the very best photos but they will do for now. Enjoy!

Happy Birthday to me!

Last Saturday was the big 3-8 for me. And amazingly, I still love my birthday. I'll admit that the reason that I love it is that it's the only time of year that it's okay for IT to be about me without guilt. And it was a pretty stellar weekend.

Friday night, our friend Michael came over and cooked us steaks on the grill. And I'm not talking cooked like I would cook. First of all, he waited on both of us - this I did not know what to do with..... He marinated the steak in brown sugar and cinammon - I was skeptical - and wrapped it in bacon. It was superb. Corn on the cob and garlic bread - whereupon I abandoned the carb free life for one fleeting evening. And watermelon. The guy can cut a watermelon like no one I've seen. Anyway - it was fun and I felt special.

Saturday, I finished up the really hard stuff on the garden and then Marianne came over and we just spent the whole rainy afternoon catching up. Bob, Marianne and Dena spent a few hours sitting back in wonder at the year that has been and how the glory belongs to the only Wise god Our Savior. It gives me a shiver what He's done and what He's got planned. And I smiled as I got up and left the room and Bob and Marianne continued to talk about the great things He has done. Only by His grace in answering prayers.

For dinner, I REALLY let go of the rules for eating and we ordered enormo-nachos for dinner. That was my request.

Then Sunday, Mom and Dad came down and spent Father's Day with us. It was awesome. They got to hear Bob and I play in the ICC Worship Band and then listen to Perry Noble preach the message. It was an awesome service and man is HE WILD!!! I was a little bit surprised that Mom and Dad seemed to enjoy it so much - but I love it. And I love that we can share this with them free of judgement or criticism. Again - God. We came home and spent the afternoon talking and swimming and laughing and eating. Uncle Funcle Bill came for a little while too. And know what? Mom got on a raft and ---- are ya ready? ---- she relaxed and just drifted in that raft for longer than I've ever seen her sit. And I got to hug my Daddy on Father's Day.

And that's why I believe in Jesus. My life is so awesomely overflowing with blessings that it doesn't even make sense. 20 years ago, I was making everyone in my family miserable and now I have a life I wouldn't trade with anyone. Thank you, Father.

Nana Update

A quick update on our beloved Nana. I've been a bit remiss on this but truly no news has been good news. I had a good long talk with her last weekend on Mother's Day. She's had good days and bad but her overall health has been holding steady. But her mental state is the best news. This new found sense of playfulness has sustained. My grandmother seems to finally be understanding that she is worthy of love. Oh, she's still a little surprised at it but she's coming to accept it and it is allowing her to be the woman God created her to be. And it is a joy to watch.

All those pictures earlier this week were from the letter I sent her. Wanted her to know - particularly with our conversation - that we really appreciated everything. She wants to know where everything went and to whom and then that we appreciated it. So I hope that letter will help.

I'll do better with keeping you updated.

Grandma's Hands

This picture above came from a beautiful email that Marianne sent to me a few days ago. It was entitled Grandma's Hands. It told of a woman whose hands tolf of a lifetime of helps and hurts. And that as she grew old, she pondered that these were the same hands that her Savior would lift her up with. I think the picture just tells a million stories. After some thought, I have included the email below.

Grandma's Hands

I was privileged to take a photo of 'Five Generations of Women'shortly before my 93 year-old Grandmother passed away last year. The photo, shown below, features the hands of my Grandmother, Mom, Sister, Niece and Great-Niece. While I can't take credit for the idea, I was so happy to have had the suggestion & capture this moment. It inspired a friend of mine to do something similar which turned out so beautiful and a special keepsake prior to her father's passing.

Grandma, some ninety plus years, sat feebly on the patio bench. She didn't move, just sat with her head down staring at her hands. When I sat down beside her she didn't acknowledge my presence and the longer I sat I wondered if she was OK. Finally, not really wanting to disturb her but wanting to check on her at the same time, I asked her if she was OK. She raised her head and looked at me and smiled. 'Yes, I'm fine, thank you for asking,' she said in a clear voice strong.

'I didn't mean to disturb you, grandma, but you were just sitting here staring at your hands and I wanted to make sure you were OK,' I explained to her.

'Have you ever looked at your hands,' she asked. 'I mean really looked at your hands?' I slowly opened my hands and stared down at them. I turned them over, palms up and then palms down.

No, I guess I had never really looked at my hands as I tried to figure out the point she was making. Grandma smiled and related this story:

'Stop and think for a moment about the hands you have, how they have served you well throughout your years. These hands, though wrinkled shriveled and weak have been the tools I have used all my life to reach out and grab and embrace life.

'They braced and caught my fall when as a toddler I crashed upon the floor. They put food in my mouth and clothes on my back. As a child, my mother taught me to fold them in prayer. They tied my shoes and pulled on my boots. They held my husband and wiped my tears when he went off to war.

'They have been dirty, scraped and raw , swollen and bent. They were uneasy and clumsy when I tried to hold my newborn son. Decorated with my wedding band they showed the world that I was married and loved someone special. They wrote my letters to him and trembled and shook when I buried my parents and spouse.

'They have held my children and grandchildren, consoled neighbors, and shook in fists of anger when I didn't understand. They have covered my face, combed my hair, and washed and cleansed the rest of my body. They have been sticky and wet, bent and broken, dried and raw. And to this day when not much of anything else of me works real well these hands hold me up, lay me down, and again continue to fold in prayer.

'These hands are the mark of where I've been and the ruggedness of life. But more importantly it will be these hands that God will reach out and take when he leads me home. And with my hands He will lift me to His side and there I will use these hands to touch the face of Christ.

'I will never look at my hands the same again. But I remember God reached out and took my grandma's hands and led her home. When my hands are hurt or sore or when I stroke the face of my children and husband I think of grandma. I know she has been stroked and caressed and held by the hands of God. I, too, want to touch the face of God and feel His hands upon my face.'

And the winner is... Jesus Christ!!

Despite all predictions, God prevailed over the weather and all else today!!! I can't even begin to explain how awesome today was. Friends, family all sharing a love of God and a love for Bob. I was so filled with joy that words escape me.... Yes, you read correctly. Let the pictures and the video speak for God's amazing grace today!

Check out Pastor Jeff Mousa's post for today for some additional pictures and comments.
http://mousa.wordpress.com/2008/04/20/baptism-pictures/
http://mousa.wordpress.com/2008/04/20/sunday-icc-3/

A Day of Blessing and Tests

This morning God really spoke to Bob. We talked briefly before I left for work and I was overwhelmed. I just had this wonderful feeling that Bob was finally in a place where he could sometimes be my support. Check out his blog for details:

http://bobmasterino.blogspot.com/2008/04/under-attack.html

Then later on this afternoon I had a wonderful conversation with Bob's mom. Nothing extraordinary just loving and encouraging from both sides. I've missed that.

Then I made some calls to yellowpages.com. I've been working on the contract he signed for advertising. In 6 weeks, he's not received one referral from it. When I first decided to call I toyed with the idea of stretching the truth or being belligerent to try and convince them to cancel the contract. And I was compelled - by a rather convincing source {read God} that I should just be totally honest and let it up to God to do whatever was His will. I spoke with our rep. He respected my honesty but could not do much because of policy. However, he did give me the phone number for his supervisor. I spoke with him this evening. Although nothing has been decided, there's at least a chance. They were receptive to our dilemma and will be reviewing it with the supervisor above him. There's no explanable reason that he is getting no calls. It should have worked - but perhaps that wasn't what God had in mind. The fact that no one knows why this isn't working is very telling. So we'll just have to wait in faith. That one is kind of a blessing and test of faith at once.

Then the test. Emily called tonight in crisis. Nana is hallucinating because of an infection and it is tearing everyone up inside. Emily is having a hard time because Nana thinks that everyone is conspiring against her. I spoke with Nana for a few moments and prayed with her. And it was bad - it didn't appear to help but God works in His own time. The whole situation is just so painful. Daddy was just getting there when Emily hung up. If you read this, please pray for all of them. Nothing like this is easy.

UPDATE: I talked with Dad this morning and got an email from Em. Nana settled down about 11 last night. Emily laid in bed with her after she hesitantly took a Ativan. She felt like she had a terribly vivid nightmare. I think Emily felt the same way. Keep praying for Emily and Dad and Nana. They are on the frontlines on this one and are taking turns being pretty battleworn.

Will the real Nana please come forward….

From Emily 4/7/08:

“Everything is pretty ok here for now. I had Nana come out of her room today for the entertainment. She was out for 45 minutes without her oxygen on. She did ok and seemed to have fun. She even had strawberry short cake - all of it! Here is the real kicker to show you she is not herself (though it is a good ‘not herself’) - she had curlers in her hair! I put a scarf on her but 3 months ago she would have been horrified! She did not care. Aunt Becky thinks the ativan is helping her ‘break free” from what was holding her back and that now she is being more like her mother was - which was funny and silly and having fun. Yesterday we took her for a ride in the car. She did not hold her face once. We should have had her on 4mg of ativan for years. E”

God has reasons for allowing her to stay with us for now. :)

Crazy Nana

I don’t know how crazy Nana was in her younger years but one special and recent time of craziness I feel at least partially responsible for. One year, I went for a visit by myself. It was after Popi died and I think I went down there before meeting up with Mom and Dad in the Keys. Anyway, I got down there in the midst of a very rainy season (that would make sense – September is hurricane season.) The ground was saturated and we got a torrential downpour on the day I arrived. We shut ourselves in and waited until it was over (if you know Florida rain not very long – just very, very hard.) I think Aunt Mildred called and said that things were really flooded two streets over. So we peeked our heads out the door of 522C Crooked Lake Lane. The water was halfway up the stop sign post at the end of the street!! Nowhere for the water to run!!

It was long enough ago that I cannot recall exactly how I talked her into this but I wanted to go over and see how bad it was at Aunt Mildred and Uncle Ham’s. And without a canoe, the only way that was going to happen was to take off the shoes, roll up the pantlegs and start a-walking! And you know, if she didn’t want to do it – there would have been no way of talking her into it. So she and I held hands and waded our way across two streets of water up to our knees or more in some places to go exploring together. I think we both laughed at ourselves wondering what ever possessed us to want to put our feet in that water without knowing what was in it. And she did make mention of a woman her age acting so crazy:). The pictures are so clear of her with her pants rolled up and a light jacket on that I almost believe that I have a picture somewhere….. Now I’ll have to go digging and check.

Anyway – that might be my very favorite memory of Nana. I felt like maybe there was something about her that I never knew before. I learned we were more alike than I had once thought. And maybe that was the beginning of the friendship we’ve shared in the years since then.

That’s why I love the funny things she says now. Reminds me of wading in the flood waters with her. :)

And again with the sense of humor!

Dad sent the following last week and I thought it was classic :)


"I called Mom this morning and told her that I wouldn't be able to get up there and see her today because until I got up there and back from there for church that I wouldn't be able to spend any time with her. She still has her sense of humor - she told me that she would just have to give me a black eye and disown me. She then said she didn't expect me up every day and she knew that I had been up everyday for about six days straight and that she would see me tomorrow."

Strong families grow during times like this. And whatever is squeezed out under pressure is what is really there. So I guess that means we're a lot of love and a little laughter...... I can deal with that!

Dad

When I asked Nana what her favorite memory of Dad was, she began by telling me about a memory of Popi. I know she was a little confused and at first that made me sad. But in the days since then, I have smiled about it. Some part of me reminded her so much of Daddy or maybe Aunt Becky, that was how she was thinking. I am honored by that. Both of them love deeply and intensely. And particularly in the recent days, I am blessed to be called a child of my father....

The Least of These

Some of the most endearing memories have been like my previous post about Emma. Hearing how the kids react to all of this is heart-breaking but amazing – especially if you don’t know if they’ll remember Nana. Here are a few of the others from the Kimpton kids.

Molly and Sarah
Emily shared this with me a last weekend. On Saturday, March 8, Northeast Ohio got hammered with a snowstorm. I was actually supposed to go up and see Nana but I was encouraged to stay home as it was going to be B-A-D. I think it turns out that they got 24 inches of snow around the nursing home and the Kimpton house south of it. Since Emily is the director of nursing at Blossom Hill, she started getting the phone calls from the facility that everyone was calling off due to the weather. Can’t have that. The people living there have needs and someone has to be there to meet them. So sometime that day, Emily packed up the girls and herself and made the trek up to the nursing home. As it turns out, they got snowed in and had to stay the night. Molly and Sarah helped when they could emptying garbage or whatever little things they could do. One of Emily’s nurses told her later that every 15 minutes – without fail – Molly would run back to Nana’s room and check on her. And if she was doing something she couldn’t get away from – she sent Sarah. Nana’s that important to them. The next morning they were going to leave Nana sleep instead of waking her up before they left for home. Em said she looked at Molly and she just knew she was about to cry. Em asked what was wrong. “I told Nana I’d make sure to say goodbye to her. But that’s okay, we can just go. I know she needs rest.”

Emily held her by the shoulders, “No – you go back there right now and give her a hug and say goodbye. Because you said you would.”

Ben
Nana told me this. When the Kimpton family came up together last week, Ben noticed how much Nana was coughing. On his own without anyone noticing, Ben took a cup and got a glass of water from the bathroom and brought it to Nana. Nana had been on thickened liquids but because she wanted Ben to know how much she appreciated it, she took a little sip and asked him to put it on her table. And he did. Some time passed and they were all talking and Nana began to cough again. And Ben grabbed the water and offered it again to Nana. He’s four for goodness sake. And what a compassionate heart he has.

I don't imagine this will be the last of the things but it's a start. This is touching all of us very deeply and the kids are no exception.

But I will miss her.....

I hope neither of my sisters minds that I am taking their stories. But like the last one, I don't want any of this stuff to be forgotten.

Carrie was talking to Emma and trying to explain what was happening with Nana. She asked, "So how long will it take for Nana to get better?"

"Well God can handle it one of two ways - He can make her better or He can take her home to be with Him. And His home is Heaven." Carrie said Emma sat quietly for a moment - thinking hard about what she'd said. Then she began to look concerned.

"But if she goes to heaven - I will MISS her......"
"I know. I will miss her too...."

A Sense of Humor

I hope you don't mind Em, but I don't want to forget this. Em's lost some weight and she is on course for a major life change for her health and her family's. I guess she was talking to Nana about it and Nana told her she has to send her a cell phone picture when she gets to her goal weight. :) How great was that?

After our visit on Saturday, I have to confess that I didn't realize what an awesome sense of humor Nana has. She had both of us cracking up a couple of times.

Maybe I'll post her picture on here. Wonder if you can read blogs from heaven :)????

Memories from Nana

What did you want to be when you grew up?
A nurse - always a nurse. I did tell my mother that I wanted a baby - even if I never had a husband, I wanted a baby. I made her really mad.

What was your least favorite chore growing up?
Oh - I don't know. We did all the cleaning every week. We washed baseboards and the stairs and all the chairs every week. And it never did seem clean. We had to clean the corner cupboard every week take everything out and wash it down.

What was you favorite memory of ......
Popi - Had to be how he proposed. He came over and Mildred and I were reading the paper on the kitchen floor. He said, "How would you feel about going to California?" I said, "Well, I can't do THAT. We aren't married." And he said, "Well I thought we would do that." Not exactly a romantic huh? No never that. Except one time after he got sick. One time he took my face in his hands and told me he loved me. That was special.

Daddy - Oh, you know your Dad. Always argumentative. He used to give me such a hard time when I asked him to do something and then he'd do it anyway. And your Aunt Becky, she'd say yes, yes, yes and do what she wanted. What about a memory - even something bad I can use:)? Oh the one weekend we went to visit him at college, he'd been out carousing the night before. I knew he was doing it but I was so mad at him because I just didn't want to see it. He ruined the whole weekend. But he's been so loving in these last few days. He spends time with me, talking, helping me eat. He's very affectionate. I kept telling him he doesn't have to come up for so long but I know it's because he loves me.

Do you remember when you first found out that you were going to be a grandmother? Oh sure, but I remember how you made Gary miss his own graduation. You came early or late and he didn't get to go but I was with Diane.

I remember when they decided that Diane was going to move out to be with your Dad at school. I knew what was going to happen so I told them they better get married.

What was the best thing you ever did?
Having my kids

What was the worst thing you ever did - I know you aren't going to answer this:).
Well, sometimes I smoked. When we were out places or at parties sometimes. At work when I was on the OB unit, they used to have hour after checks after the babies were born and everyone would go outside and have a cigarette after that. And if you didn't go, you got stuck with all the work! So I went. But when I quit, I never did it again.

What is the secret to life?
God - I think He's the only thing. And love each other - just love each other as much as you can. Because that is what matters when there isn't anything else.

Love of a Lifetime

I have to tell you that Nana would be SOOO disapproving if she knew I posted this where total strangers could see it but I love it. I love her. Can you just see the face if she saw it :)?

Yesterday Bob and I visited Nana at Blossom Hill. I think I was all prepared for this somber visit and God surprised and blessed us. Our visit was wonderful. Sad but wonderful. I was surprised that - again - she was so coherent. We shared and she shared - memories of times we had together and other things that I just wanted to know. More on that later.

I did her nails. Got scolded a little for the nail polish (nurses needed a pulse ox and had to take polish off one nail) but she so enjoyed it. Hadn't had her nails done since Emily got her a manicure when she first moved up here. I fixed up her pretty white hair. Still in curls from when they trimmed and fixed it a few days ago.

We talked a lot. She so loved that Bob had come with me. She was so sad for me when we went through all of the marriage troubles and I know she prayed for us so fervently. It has been so wonderful to share with her that Bob has come to know Christ. No one could be happier. Bob told her that he'd be baptized on April 20 and that sick woman sat up straighter in her bed and smiled the biggest smile. I don't think Bob realized how happy that made her. She talked about her own baptism not so very long ago. She wanted to be immersed. Dunked under the water as Christ was buried and brought up again as Christ arose.

We prayed together before we left. Nana knows that it's hard for me to do that. I feel like I'm going to say something that doesn't make sense. I'm sure I did that yesterday but I wanted to do it for God and for Nana. I sat at her bedside, Bob stood and we all held hands. It was awesome sharing that moment - all of us. Bob hugged Nana and promised that he would love me and take care of me always. It was just amazing.

Father, I am so thankful that you allowed her the extra time that we could share that. I will never forget it.

A Trip to the Hoosier State

I finally downloaded my pictures from my trip to the Slusser house in Indiana for Emma's birthday! It was an awesome weekend. The drive started out very wintry but was very pleasant for the last four hours or so.

Friday night we saw an awesome concert - Newsboys, Rush of Fools and two other bands. These weren't two of my favorites before the concert but I had such a great time and they put on such a great show! I bought the Rush of Fools CD and book and the band even signed it as a special surprise for Bob!

Saturday the kids caught me up on my movies with Nanny McPhee and Night at the Museum. We opened Emma's gifts and colored for awhile. Generally just enjoyed each others company.

Then Sunday I got to go to their new church. I think they will be happy there and grow in their faith.

I had a chance on Friday to meet Carrie's friend, Megan too. We've been praying for her for months and it was nice to meet her and put a face to our prayers.

All too soon it was over and I was on my way home. I sure wish they lived closer.