A Celebration of Love

I'm not entirely certain how to record the moments of last week. I'm inclined to just dump and come back and elaborate when it isn't so overwhelming. Let me apologize in advance for the length of the list. I love blogging but as the headstrong person I am, I am maintaining this as my modern day journal - a place to reflect. So this is one of those rules that I can't abide :)

- The kids - I cannot begin to explain the joy and sadness of watching each of my amazing neices and nephew deal with the loss of their great grandmother. The three oldest in one way and the three youngest in another. Sad but so blessed by the way that Nana touched their lives. Molly's private cry, Sarah's open sadness, Emma's sadness, wave to Nana and concern with the casket lowering. Grace's bold questions and later her grief as she went back to school. Ben's football twirling and concern that he'd wake up Nana. Hope's empathetic sadness that she didn't quite understand.

- The joy of our family - the amazing people that Nana brought together. My cousins and sisters. I cannot get over how lucky we are to be blessed with such love and strength.

- My wake me up in the middle of the night talk with God where He gave me really clear instructions on exactly what I was supposed to say at Nana's service. Per Bob, I called people out to come to know Jesus so they could know how we could find joy in sadness.

- My cousin, Scott, who has quite literally become a complete Jesus Freak and I LOVE IT!

- Grandchildren and great grandchildren singing joyfully for Nana's coming home. Grace and Emma holding papers that they couldn't read but insisting that they have the right papers.

- Breakfast at the fancy table with just Emma where we had a marvelous talk about school and movies and all kinds of things. It was awesome. And Hope who joined us later said that she had gotten all smiley faces the week before - quite a feet for the definition of spirited child. But the topper was this.
Me: "When you get back will keep getting them?"
Hope: "Yep - another, and another and another and another and another..... and then <arms wide open> COLLEGE!!!!" I almost cramped up laughing....

- Emily talking about her dad. The dad whose love and caring for his mother set a very high bar. He was the selfless and incredibly loving man that we know he is.

- All the Barefoot and Saylor family who love each other and come together. The sadness for Uncle George and Uncle Wes as they mourn the loss and the feeling of being a bit more alone.

- The particularly sad grieving of both Ray and Uncle Bill. Two men who don't cry. It was almost too much to bear. But on the other hand another testimony to the love my Nana shared throughout her life.

- Bob and Ray and Dan being supportive and loving when we needed them the most.

That so doesn't capture it but Daddy said that he will be putting together a booklet with some things from the memorial service and perhaps that will do it.

But as the days have worn on, I am sad as I look at her picture that she's just not there. I'm sad that there will not be any more memories made. I've said a few times since then, I can barely be patient enough not to click the mouse 6 times to allow a screen to load on the web. And now God means for me to wait however long to see her again....... comical :) But I am so happy for her. She's with Popi and her sisters and some brothers and her mom and dad and a handful of nephews and lots of people who she's known over the years who will tell her how God used her to enrich their lives. Can't think of anything else that could make us happier. Nana's home.