Overwhelmed and Off Balance

That's my downfall. I get overwhelmed and then the guilt heaps on. Right now, I have a thousand and a half things that I SHOULD do every weekend but it's been beautiful nearly every Saturday or Sunday of the last month. Here has been my thinking - I only have three months to enjoy the pool. June was a wash because of planning mom and dad's weekend and it was rainy. I'm not even sure I had a weekend to just read and lounge until right before the party.

So now that it's been nice I've been reading and hanging out in the pool as much as possible, there are things that aren't getting done. The dust bunnies have built up significantly. And a certain loved one made an observation this weekend that made me question that neglected chore. I've rehashed things since then and I still think that is an okay choice to make.

My hang up is that while making the sacrifice of clean for fun is an acceptable one, it still doesn't sit well. Lots of things have gone to h-e- double hockey sticks. Yard work, bank statements, filing, the list goes on and on....... And that my friends is how I roll - guilt, guilt, guilt. I neglect to find peace in the things that I am making an effort to keep caught up. I dwell on all the areas I fall short in. Know what's funny (other than the fact that every woman deals with this dilemma)? This happens every year. And every year I freak out about this time as the summer wanes, and I see how much I have to do. Funny part two? The world hasn't yet collapsed in a heap and neither have I.

So I've decided to put this in my faith/ prayer jar. I don't have balance - if I'm not killing myself, I think I'm a slacker and I'm susceptible to the least inclination or comment from others that way. So even when I'm seeking it, I can't find it. So - in yet another area of my life (following recently behind body image, weight loss, and selfishness - ouch!!) I am giving it back to God. If I don't have control, I think my world is going to implode. And deep down, I know better. I serve a God who has my best in each and every plan. He IS PERFECT BALANCE. So the only way I'm likely to have balance is to have Him - every day, all the time.

PS - In the realm of body image and weight loss, He's really been surprising me. In the last few weeks, I have lost 12.5 pounds. Without obsession, without deprivation of giant measure, and with out compulsion. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me - cause this stuff is off the chart NOT ME!!!