New Challenges

God has been hard at work this week in our lives. Challenging us to rise above our disappointment in reliance on Him for our future. "For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2Cor 12:10. It's been a theme. Emails exchanged with my awesome family have reinforced that we have been drawn closer to Him in our recognition that He is the God of this country's future.

On a lighter note, God has been chipping away at the rough stone of my health for awhile now and this weekend, it started to look like something. I went to visit Emily to Halloween with Burton, Ohio folk in that picture perfect Norman Rockwell-esque little village (I'll get pics up as soon as I can.) Em got up early to run on the treadmill and it occured to me that a 5K might motivate me to get back to the gym. Emily could run it easy with the duration and speed of her workout. And I could work on it for next year and spend my energy getting ready with a serious goal in mind. And what an awesome thing for the kids to see us do as a family!! Molly and Sarah could even participate and with Mom and Dad on their new walking plan, they might want to. And Carrie's always had running on the brain..... So I'm in!!! I even started a running/walking/jogging online log so I can chart my progress towards our goal races in March and October. Yay! I've come to understand that's how God talks to me. Puts these crazy thoughts in my head at the weirdest times. Like at 7am while sitting on the couch in Emily's basement watching her run:) Gave myself a baseline this morning at the gym. I'm tired and my heels are killing me but I think it's near hysterical that God is trying to make me into a runner :) No one ever said He didn't have a sense of humor!

Say a prayer for my feet when you pray about the country this week and our new leader. May his eyes be opened to wisdom, discernment and accountability.

You will never know...

I have never in my life felt so held up in prayer. I cannot begin to explain what an amazing comfort in Christ I have felt through His loyal servants here on earth. Iron City Church friends, work friends, other friends in Christ, blogging friends. God has connected my family with the most amazing people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Your love is clearly inspired by the giver of love Himself. We feel it.

Waiting

Nana has been mostly unresponsive and bad for the last several days. Since the beginning of the week I have known what to pray for - release. No more doubt or guilt about it. Father God take her home - so she can run and dance and act goofy and be free from guilt or doubt and be filled with the most complete love she's ever felt in her life.

My mind is going 50,000 different ways. I'm not sad like I was in March. I'm frustrated and worried about Em and Dad and Aunt Becky. And a little because I don't understand why He's taking so long. I know - I don't get to know and I know His plan is designed out of perfect love so it is absolutely best. I just wish I knew.

And I feel bad for all the times when people lost a loved one that I didn't empathize well. It's hard - even when you know she's headed for the greatest home every built. And it's consuming because this person that's fading away has helped to shape the person that you are today and even though you know better in your head, your heart is breaking.

And I have to stop myself from worrying about everyone else. This person's plans and what will this person do or what if it just a few more days then THIS will be an issue. And last night or this morning it occured to me that I was being an idiot again - trying to control things with prayer. God knows everyone's schedules and responsibilities be it work or church or travel. And He CAN make them all work. I'm just praying that it's soon for Nana. That's it.

And He'll give me the patience I need.

Yellowpages.com

Doing the right thing is H-A-R-D. And this has been a really challenging test. I have been fighting to try and resolve this issue with this company for the last seven weeks to no avail. I patiently followed up with our account rep and his boss. And nothing. Before I called the first time, I felt compelled to do this the right way - approach it professionally and honestly and without throwing a fit. I've prayed about it over the last seven weeks and still they are unwilling to budge to let us out of our 12 month contract despite the fact that Bob has received exactly zero calls. We made it clear we wanted to try and resolve this honorably and to keep our agreement but the complete lack of results has made it financially disastrous. We made call after call and made suggestions for an amicable dissolution. They would have none of it. And I got angrier and angrier that there is no requirement on their end to do ANYTHING! Anyway, I was a moment from putting a stop payment on our account when I read a devotional the other day on waiting on God. He works in his own time. Our time appears to be running out with the money but rather than rushing into a rash decision, I changed the payment arrangements and filed a complaint with the Better Business Bureau and sent an email to our Congressman. I am still praying. I know that if God says no, it's for a greater yes...... Patience.....

Answered Prayer

I should not be in the least bit surprised and yet ……

More than a month ago ART’s only other administrative employee quit. Better opportunity for her. Since I’m it, I would say that initially I was on the verge of panic. Thoughts of late hours, total overwhelm and burn out streaming through my head. This was it in the first ten minutes. Then a wash of calm came over me. I prayed that God would help me to handle things and I remembered that He never gives you more than you can handle. And in the weeks since then, I am astonished at how powerfully He has worked. I’ve had help from my friend Carrie. She’s been here 3 days a week for at least the mornings and once a few additional IT things change, I think I’ll be able to let her go back to working with EIP all except Monday mornings. It’s amazing – faith and peace….

Volume has been relatively low (which wasn't my hope) but call volume is way down and radiologist independence is at an all time high despite both of them squirming at the thoughts of that. And so my calm has been so great! I love talking to clients again. Love to help them through problems. That was one of my concerns. I remembered before that I hated getting calls because I was so stressed that I saw everything as an inconvenience. I prayed because I needed God’s help to NOT turn back into that ugly stress monster. I wanted to be here what I am in the rest of my life – optimistic and happy!!!

And I have it!!! God truly gave me the strength to manage the panic and then the rest followed. Let me remember this next time my first instinct is to freak out…. Someone please remind me! Father let this lesson stay in the front of my cranial rolodex!