Weird dynamics

Right now I have restless mind syndrome. Common but a bit frustrated. Can't get to sleep. Thinking about lots of things.

One is that there's a certain someone - who will remain nameless - that puzzles me. I'm thinking that I'm puzzled because I don't know who I am when I'm around them. I like the person, admire and respect even. Like how they interact with others but when it comes to me, I am not sure how to take them. I'm not used to people not liking me but the me I turn into when I'm around this individual isn't very likable. I'm awkward and I feel like they bring out the worst in me. I feel competitive even though I'm not competing. I feel diminished and condescended to although I don't think that's the intention. So it cycles and I am worse the next time.

I need to pray about it. There's a thousand different lessons in it. And the fact that I'm not angry or resentful about it could mean that I'm starting to learn that you can practice agape love with folks that aren't your cup of tea. And with some prayer, I bet this "thing" goes away or at least becomes unnoticaeble. But for now it's on my mind.