Experiencing God

We have finished up our bible study on Experiencing God and Tommy was right. It was life-changing.

The first memory verse was John 15:5
"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, He will bear much fruit. Apart from me you can do NOTHING."

That one verse encapsulates everything that I've learned from the study. Learned might not be the right word. Maybe metabolized. I knew it. It made sense. But did I get the full implications of it - not a chance.

Apart from me - in disobedience, in rebellion, in confidence in self rather than confidence in God - I can do NOTHING. When I insert myself into this divinely breathed equation NOTHING is absolute zero. The total absence of light. Results in frustration and worry short and simple.

Over the course of the study we were asked to reflect on the study. I don't want to lose sight of any of these things:

1. Stop worrying and start putting that energy into trusting in God's plan.
2. Know that God is at work in EVERY area of our life. God is calling me to be a leader by serving those who are in charge of all those areas.
3. When I am getting caught up in my somethings, I am DOING NOTHING.
4. In order for me to see God working, I have to clear out all of the ME in things that are clouding my vision.
5. Waiting is part of God's plan for me - less of me and more of Him.
6. Obedience means I have to stop making lists of why I can't - too incovenient, doesn't make sense, people don't understand.....
7. Obedience means not fighting Him on things that I don't want to do.
8. The emptiness I feel sometimes is call to Him - not any one of the substitutes that I usually use to satiate (unsuccessfully) my melancholy.
9. Trust and obey is a path to God's best - it won't always be a pretty or a clear path but He already knows the end. He can't do any less. He's perfect love.
10. QUIT BRINGING MY NO INTO GOD'S YES PLAN. His plan results in joy even when you can't imagine it could. He's God!!!!
11. More faith means less planning and less overanalysis. So I have to turn off the worry and let God do His thing.
(This one felt wrong all my life. "Doesn't God want me to DO something?" And I've been learning that the answer is no. I DO and I forget that it's God doing. Don't get me wrong - I don't turn off my brain. But my brain is slowing turning on to the idea that my doing and thinking are attempts at rerouting God.)
12. Admitting that I am selfish and have been for a long time is hard. But it's true. That's my nature and God's trying to refine that right out of me. Pride. Ouch. Quit being defensive about my past and admit that God's been trying to get rid of it for a LONG TIME. My stubborness has prolonged it.
13. Praise Him when I am feeling self-involved. It works. It reminds of who He is.
14. Listen to Him.
15. I can't just chuck it all in a panic. That's me trying to fix things again. And it doesn't work. Ever.
16. Believe that He can do anything even when it doesn't make sense from my limited viewpoint.
17. Prayer is huge. Do it all the time. Everyday. About everything.
18. Believe God. I need to step out in FAITH ALONE.
19. God-sized tasks are His way. See 18 for His methodology. Things that for years I haven't been able to do on my own are how He works. And when that happens, others see that there is no way that it could be other than GOD.
20. Give things to Him and stop taking them back.
21. When things are uncomfortable (servanthood and humility) keep obeying His call to change - with joy.
22. Sharing means absence of self. The warmth of sharing is not in the good it feels for me but joy in sharing HIM.
23. Love all parts - people are hard to love. Maybe impossible without the love of Christ and the strength of the Holy Spirit.
24. Pray for clarity when you don't know if you are hearing from God right. He's not going to withhold that from His children.
25. All of this is for Him. Not me. His glory. His name. His purpose.
26. The absence of the me is HUGE in our marriage.
27. Every interaction with those kids I love so much is an opportunity that should be preceeded by prayer.

That's a long list but it was a HUGE study. It really has changed things. That's a lot to digest so I'll have to ponder that for awhile.

Step by Step

Bob and I are taking on a few big adventures this summer. The worship leading has already begun and while it is fun it is a big responsibility - one that both of us take very seriously. In addition, we agreed to lead a Bible Study this summer.





Experiencing God by Henry Blackaby. We got the books and met with the pastors about small group leading last Sunday. This week I've started to look it over. When Tommy mentioned it, he said it would be lifechanging and even the small part I've read already has been great.

Here's what I've been getting already:

Staying in God's will is sometimes about listening to what He tells us to do one step at a time. I've been reminded so many times that it is truly a marathon - not a sprint. Here's a few examples of stories that have already reinforced the idea that this is how you Experience God:

- Elijah was told to go to hide. God didn't say much about the exact hows and whys - He just said go and I will provide. One step at a time.



- Abraham was told to go. Not exactly told where - just that he should obey and would be blessed.



- Moses - again with the go. Go out from Egypt. No street by street TOM-TOM directions.



And mostly that's what I want God to do - give me the whole 5Ws. But if I listen to Him on all the little things, I'll find myself smack dab in the middle of His will. And obedient. And happy. And not worrying - because who can worry when you are looking at your next step. You don't have time to panic about the giant valleys that might be coming.



There was a time in my life when I ABSOLUTELY lived by this. Life was crazy and sad and unstable. I didn't know if my marriage was going to make it and looking ahead was terrifying. I was coming back from the gym on a Saturday morning. I had walked the short way because it was so pretty out and was trying a different way back. I had to climb up this big hill and as I climbed with the loose dirt and tall grass, all I could do was concentrate on one foot at a time. One step and then the other. If I had looked up, I might have gotten overconfident. If I had looked down, nervous. Even side to side would have lost the focus. I just needed to look at my feet and stay focused. And like a whisper, I knew that the Spirit was teaching me. I needed to stop worrying about the past and the future and just focus on God - on the getting through the next minute.



And now years later, I am learning that He wants me to do that not just during the hard times, but ALL THE TIME. This is the path to the hope and peace that I am desperately seeking. If I learn to do this, I know He'll give me the cue to sometimes turn around and sit down on that hill and enjoy the view - without the worry and without the stress and the overconfidence. Because I bet when I am able to look out from the place where my steps have been led, I will see that I have been walking in the beautiful path of His Grace all along!