Always a challenge

It seems like God loves to see us grow. I guess that isn't a big surprise and slowly, I'm learning to thank Him for those challenges.

I know how I react to challenges at work. When something comes up that I worry about whether I can accomplish or not, I panic and freak out. And yet even then, in those times at work when I've compartmentalized and forgot that God is in control there, He was kind enough to remind me that He is in control. And I survived every challenge and I'm slowly learning that He gives me those things so I can trust in Him and relax a bit - and the work gets done. Usually better than I expected. Sometimes I make God so small.

But in spite of learning this lesson at work, it has been hard to move the lesson over to all things church. It's almost like I have to learn these things in each part of my life before they stick. And since serving God within His church is a new thing for me, I HAVE LOTS OF LESSONS THAT NEED A'LEARNIN'!!!!! As we live out this holiday season, I am making a vow to give a lot more than I get. Not presents -half the time people can't even recall what we get them. I want to start the day with God giving him my answer to whatever He calls me. And I want to offer what I have to Him by giving kindness and effort to others. I've been learning I have a lot of work to do with that. I still live in my comfortable shell too much. Thus the fun lessons that He throws my way. Challenges to grow into the child that He knew from the start.

Neglecting a Big Job

This week I've been struck by the struggles that my husband is having. He's in a pretty rough patch. In fact, I'd say he seems to be in one of the more brutal yet subtle struggles I've seen him in. And there is so much at stake. He's struggling with relationships of all kinds and his bad habits that affect those relationships. If you think about it, that is about as comprehensive of an area as you can get. And if you know him, you will know that this is VERY difficult for him. He has immense difficulty with relationships. There is something at the root of it and it's a mystery right now. He's balking at things in a very reactive way and I can almost catch a glimpse of what's eating him and then it's gone. So I pray. And I've prayed for him a great deal recently. But one thing I regularly fail to remember is that I am his biggest support system. My words are either the wind beneath his wings or the bat that knock him out of the sky. Ouch. Not only is he relatively new to his walk with Jesus but he's a ministry leader. That's a lot. Big expectations of him. And quite literally he is Moses saying, "Dude, I think you have the wrong guy. Have you seen me? Really?" But God has seen him. I know our Father and I know that He loves Bob so much and this is what this pain is about. He has a new name for Bob and right now Bob's in the wrestling match of his life. Father, I cannot pray on his struggle because I want it to stop but I want him to be more like you. So I pray that you will make me into the wife I need to be to him through this. In your Son.

God sees the end

I was just reading my devotion for the early morning and something that wasn't even the point of it struck me. Because God doesn't see things in linear time, He sees His completed work in me. Now isn't now. It's who I become when He's finished. It's who I was to Him from the beginning.

He doesn't see the Dena that ignored Him when it came to relationships and sexuality.
He doesn't see the Dena that thought that going to church was optional or that I didn't need anyone's help to grow closer to Him.
He doesn't see the Dena that seeks comfort in food.
He doesn't see the the Dena that rolls her eyes at authority and criticism.

My amazing God sees the DONE Dena in the five foot seven and a half chunk of clay even though it really just looks like a lump to everyone else. Wonder what He sees.......

He's not finished with me yet. Praise God and Hallelujah - He's not finished with me yet.