A fresh start with a bit of pineapple

Today is a new day and thank you Lord for that. Yesterday I got VERY overwhelmed by life. No vacation, busy job, busier life, lots of stuff on the to do list. I emailed Bob mid-day and started to cry. Nothing he said changed it - he tried to be encouraging and help me remove some of the craziness that was freaking me out.

But a friend from church dropped by to provide some much needed reassurance and two additional smiling faces - one that was adorable and 17 months and one that was another good friend. I was reminded that we were getting a pool and that it was all going to work out okay with the deck and all.

And while I was grabbing some basil for my eager friend, I saw again that my sweet little garnish-size pineapple had been ripening. Bright yellow - at least on one side. So I picked it - in a rush, even a tizzy. And after my friends left, I cut it up and I took two delicious bites of a tiny fruit that I had invested three years in. I wasn't sad it was done - I lopped off the crown and was eager to get a new one started. Three years for two bites and it changed my night. Took me from frazzled to hopeful.

I know that life seems crazy right now but God has a plan. I am ridiculously impatient in the short term but in the long term, he's been changing my heart, making me wait things out so I can see his glorious plan. 10 years from unbelieving husband to godly man, worship leader and spiritual leader of our home. A lifetime of selfish behavior slowly pared a little at a time to more sharing and praying that I will become desperate for the lost. Arms length distance from letting God in all the rooms of my life - now opening and redecorating one door at a time. He can handle the little stuff. The day to day. Days like yesterday I somehow think he wants me to handle that. Nope.

I'm learning. A lot and then a little. And a little bit of pineapple was all it took to remind me.

Decisions, Distraction and Discouragement

This about sums up my last 10 days. Doing research on pool replacement, falling off the good eating and workout wagon and also distracted away from my morning quiet times with God. And as a result, yuck-yuck-yuck. I'm not surprised at how I feel as a result but I'm so disappointed in myself. I have to get back on track and right now the catch up seems overwhelming both at work and home. I get in places like this - RUTS - where the sides seem so steep that I can't crawl out on my own. Hmmm. I know the answer but I seem to distant from attaining it. How about instead of blogging, I try going to the source and getting this worked out? Not me resolving but God resolving. Hoping my next post is about resolutions....

Pool-less

I know it's silly to be sad over a pool. I know it's just a thing. No one was hurt, nothing other than the pool was damaged. But I am having a hard time with this. It was my consolation prize for no summer vacation. It was my happy thought when I thought about not getting a day off all summer. It was my reward after a day of work.

And with the pool water swooshed out security and comfort. This week I've been an anxious mess worrying about everything from the weeds in the lawn to the rust on the fence to the sag in the stone wall. Chang ching - Chang ching - Chang ching. Money. Costs a lot to replace one of these. And then there's the fact that everyone comes here for the pool. Saylor reunion next year, visits from family. Ugh. It just makes me so sad. I think it was THE thing that made me love this house.

We're getting a new one. Bob seems confident of that but typical me panics and must have right now.

So it's no wonder for the last two days I've been bombarded with reminders from GOD not to let my pool be the idol it apparently was. And DO NOT WORRY. Phil 4:6, 1 Peter 5:7, Matt 6:25-34. Another reminder that although I sometimes feel like I've come a long way, I am one mini-tidal wave from falling right down. Glad God loves me even in this disappointing state.

Too Busy Not to Pray Study

Life is going well! Our bible study is something we really look forward to each week. It's awesome getting to know new people and share our lives with each other. Also great getting to know my sister-in-law better. Been so grateful lately for the wisdom God is giving me with that. Last week during the communion service I felt like the Spirit was strongly encouraging me to talk to Missie about the jealousy and apologize for the way it comes out. Basically since I'm envious, I act overly critical and superior in my head about other things. Unattractive to say the least. I've been praying about it. I let her know that I was sorry for being mean and critical and I wanted to fix that because she's my sister (in more than one way) and I loved that we were getting closer and I didn't want that between us. She was very forgiving and said that she hadn't noticed anything like that but I assured her that God wanted me to ask for forgiveness so He could get it out there. I have to admit that sometimes I'm a big meany - and in order to fix it, I really have to admit it. I've already found myself less critical. God works in mysterious ways..... :)

And another example (just for the week!) of successful prayer is Bob. He's been reading the 5 love languages and he's made some significant effort. I need to work harder too.... But it's just awesome to see how quickly God can start to work on things that we persistently pray about.

I love how God works!! And as our book is reminding us, the greatest motivator for prayer is answered prayer!

Mission Call

Sunday night I was able to attend the commisioning service for my friend Jenn as she departs for Malawi with a team from the Pittsburgh Presbytery for a 10 day trip. I am so excited for her and cannot wait to talk with her after she returns home to see how God uses this to deepen His presence in her life. The message the pastor gave was clear, this trip was a calling on them to be there at this time and each of them was being called to bring all that they had to this trip for God to use. Jenn and I have just recently rekindled our friendship and it is HUGELY exciting to see how God is in the middle of that newly rediscovered friendship. I am so proud to be her friend and am honored that I could be there to see her blessed like this.

While I was there I felt a longing for service. It was a combination of the Saturday community outreach giving out water that we coordinated for our small group and Tommy pushing me the previous week to go in and talk with a new person. Both were things I DID NOT want to do. Tommy challenged me and he challenged our group and truth be told - I liked doing both of those things even though I fought it. It seems that I don't do things that make me uncomfortable without a good bit of prodding. But a part of me knows that the discomfort is SO POWERFUL in the growth process. I long to be that uncomfortable again. I keep thinking back to the discomfort of my trip to the Caribbean with Clarence and in particular my climb up the saw grass steeps of El Toro. Tears and pain and frustation. And the biggest physical accomplishment of my life and the greatest sense of achievement. And I was far from God then because of some choices I was making. Most of the prodding came from a professor who I dearly loved. Can you even imagine being prodded by the loving all powerful God of the Universe and what an answer to that call might mean? Honestly, I can't fathom it. But someday I hope to go. Where? I don't know. When? I don't know. I especially don't know how. But someday I hope He asks and I say yes.