Day Two as a Not-Smoker

These last ten days have been full.

I still have yet to gather my thoughts enough to write about Nana's homecoming celebration. But I will because I want to record what happened there. The joy amid the sadness.

Bob and I celebrated our tenth anniversary with some quiet time together. Another thing that I'd like to write more about.

But right now, the item most prominent in my noggin is that both Bob and I have not been smokers for two days now. I stop short of calling us non-smokers because the nicotine is still in there at day two. And I'm using the patch and he's trying the gum.

I'm doing okay. I've been feeling a little wacky in the morning, maybe a little dizzy - don't say it - I know I'm dizzy without this. But I'm pretty much okay in terms of cravings and habit. I've still wanted to smoke - like now as I sit in front of the computer or when I got home from work. But "they" are right. The craving lasts just a few seconds for me and then I'm okay. And I'm keeping myself busy - and I won't be running out of things to do for a long while!

Bob did great yesterday and felt fine this morning but the anger and anxiety is setting in. He decided to try the patch tonight and then concluded that he was best off just going to sleep. I hope he finds some peace there. If you are reading this, please say a prayer that God will give him the strength he needs to fight this particular enemy attack.

I've been toying with varying degrees of quitting since last year when Gracie nagged at me about smoking while we were on vacation - thanks Gracie Mo :). But since Bob and I started smoking inside the house (circa THE BAD TIME, March 2005) it's been hard for me to really quit. The cigarettes are there and available.

A little over two weeks ago, before church Bob calmly said, "What I'm about to say is going to shock you." Okay - don't EVER start a conversation with me that way (March, 2005 - again.) It alarmed me for the nanosecond that preceded, "I want to stop smoking."

During the previously noted bad time of mid-2005, Bob was in the throws of a deep depression, which resulted in a really difficult time in our marriage. Smoking was part of his long term plan not to be here on this planet forever. It broke me up when he talked that way. Well, PRAISE GOD, August 2007 came with Iron City Church and saving faith in Jesus Christ. And I think God has been speaking to Bob about not smoking anymore and that was the big change.

For both of us, health is a motivation - just generally feeling better, and money - which is huge. That money should be going other places that God is calling us to allocate it. Those are plenty good reasons. But for me, there's also the kids - like Grace, who see that we do that and look up to us. Don't want them to think that it's cool because I do it. And then that it's a filthy, stinky habit that is just plain gross.

So we'll keep at it. Dilligently. Keep us in your prayers.