Anxiety

Another thing we talked about this week during Breaking Free was how arrogance or pride dethrones God. Anxiety does too. It supposes that God is NOT in control. It sees situations and problems as some potential disaster with no solution. It considers NONE of the power that Christ has in our lives or that God has a purpose for those situations that is growing or teaching or some other positive thing like refinement. It's actually not that far from arrogance. The arrogance of leaving God OUT of the picture of you life and supposing that it is something you have to deal with alone and in your own control. And THAT is horrifying when you aren't fully resting in faith.

Right now, for some crazy reason, we are dealing with a lot of difficulties that are really pushing us to faith that He has a plan - not to harm but to prosper. We have not fallen completely off the cliff but let's just say I'm seeing over the edge and it's a long way down and the footing isn't great. I am SOOOOOO much the anxious worrier. In the last 10 days I have found myself just overcome with anxiety on several occasions - possibly even constantly in the pit of my stomach. I don't know why more now than any other time but I seem less equipped to handle it. First Bob was consoling and then he even has panicked - which was an even bigger test for me. I'm praying more and asking for prayer. Praying for wisdom. Praying for peace. Crying out to Him that I know we made the bed we're in financially but we want very desperately to honor Him with our decisions and actions now. Ironically that was another big lesson I learned this week from bible study. God still listens when we're in the middle of reaping what we sow. I'm crying out to Him now. Please Father, lead us to the ways that will give you the glory that we didn't show you so long with finances. We are completely unable to do it without you. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Lessons on the Commute

I got in the car this morning on the verge of overwrought over money. I decided that I needed to spend some time being quiet with God in the car – listening. I talked to Him and prayed some but I found my mind wandering a lot. So by the time I got through the light at Musik Innovations, I was way out there. So as I started up the hill, I think God said, “FOCUS!!!” Loudly. Seriously. So I did. I started telling Him how amazing He is and how much He’s done in my life…..

And out of nowhere, on the way up the hill, a little doe was walking across traffic. No warning except the brake lights of a car ahead of it and to the right (I was in the fast lane). The doe was ahead of me and I saw it and slowed way down – oddly in plenty of time to slow down, which really doesn’t make sense since it was all of sudden just there and I was probably going at least 40. It got confused, looked at me, and jumped the barrier and safely crossed with no traffic coming down the hill.

SOOOO!!! Since my mind was with finances it turned back there. If a little focus can save that idiot deer from getting smashed in traffic (and me from the drivers behind me that had to slam on the brakes) financial recovery should be a manageable task for God with a little focus from us……. I think if we pray and listen, he’ll let us know what path he wants us to take….

Gas Prices

GULP - gas has officially hit $4 in Western PA this weekend. It is unnerving, to say the least, to watch as the price of absolutely everything goes up when you are already in a major penny pinching mode. It has had me thinking all day - about visits to the family, our tenth anniversary (as yet unplanned), how we can cut any further just to make ends meet, and other family and friends that are either in jobs very vulnerable to this cost increase or in situations with similarly small margins for this kind of budget crunch. Another area of trust and prayer. I am grateful that I work very close to home. I am grateful that we have two tiny cars. I am grateful that Bob's buddy sometimes rides him to the job site. In God all things are possible - loaves and fishes, loaves and fishes.....

Hope that you all are finding ways to cope. If you have any ideas, please share. My newest ideas have been all Aldi's all the time, no junk food, trying to quit smoking and a garden.