I have an old friend that has been testing the waters of faith for several months now. She lives in Texas and our contact has mostly been through a social networking site but several nights ago, I took the leap and asked her outright where she was in her faith and with God. She shared her story and in turn, I shared mine. I was so excited.
Then I did a little research into a book she had connected with. I had intended to read it so we could have a dialogue and the more I read about the book, the more my heart sunk. I noticed a feeling like panic and I began to struggle with the idea of reading the book. So I prayed about it and talked to a few friends. I looked deep inside to find out why the idea of reading it was bothering me. And the answers weren't pretty. I know I have a non-negotiable belief in the God-breathed Scriptures but I think deep down, I'm scared of reading something challenging that makes sense. I'm afraid of my own gullibility. But even more, I am underestimating the power of the Holy Spirit to give me discernment. In this case, I am pleading with Jesus as that father of the sick child did - "I believe! Please help my unbelief!" I still don't know if I'll read the book so I'll keep parying for surety of faith and confidence in God and wisdom. I KNOW that He is sufficient for every need.
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2 comments:
and i pray that the Lord gives you wisdom if this is theologically safe.
Did you ever read the book?
Not yet. I still have it on my list though.... I figure for as long as it isn't top of mind, God is telling me I'm not ready for it yet. I pray for my friend vigilantly...... That's more than the reading will ever do :)
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