Message for Mom

Last week's Esther Bible study class was dedicated in large part to being a woman and since many women are moms there was a concentration on motherhood. Since I am not one, my thoughts went to my own mom. More poignantly appropriate since Esther was an orphan - a word that seems and is so dramatic and yet is really a word that describes my own mom since I was very young. I know she'd scoff at the reference and she's decidedly NOT dramatic about things. But she lost her mom before I was born and her dad before I was 10 - and she was young. But Mom had her own Mordecai :). During a time when her own parents were emotionally removed from her, Dad's parents - my Nana and Popi - stepped in to love her. And so when Mom's parents later passed away, those subsitute parents were already in place. What a blessing. Meeting Dad changed Mom's life profoundly. Much of what mom is as a woman and a mother are reflections of the love of Nana.

I began thinking very specifically of the things I am that are because of mom. I even talked to Carrie about it this weekend. I got a little mad at myself because it was so hard. Not because Mom didn't do a ton to show us that she loved us. She SO did. But because I'm not a mom and because my personality is often more like dad's it's harder to see. So I thought long. And I thought hard.

- I remember seeing mom talk to strangers often in lines at the store. Always a smile and always pleasant. And I can't tell you how many times I've done this and KNOWN that it was something I got from mom. Total strangers will ask me questions or ask my opinion. And I will happily give it to them and spend the next few minutes smiling because I know I just had a mom moment. I love that. It's like I have something about me that says, "Sure! I can help." And that's so completely mom. She could talk to anyone. And while dad is a salesman by profession, this isn't his comfort zone the way it is mom's. And I love that I have that of her.

- Cooking and cleaning are a reflection of love. Mom always kept the house neat and clean because she loved us enough to do that. It wasn't her favorite thing to do but it was how she showed us that we mattered. And I keep this up - because I believe it's true. I love my house and my husband and my life and so I clean and cook. Maybe less than she did - okay - a lot less :) but I've come to really love it and embrace it because I know why I do it.

- Kind of connected to the last one... I always thought of Daddy as the organized one but I've recently come to realize that my mother is and always has been a master of organization. The house, her work, our schedules, food, shopping, cleaning, everyone's every other needs, and on and on. And I like being that. I don't ever remember her scrambling at the last minute for anything and she had a LOT on her plate.

- Loving animals. This one is huge. It is the most natural thing in the world for me to love animals and this is my mother - 100%. Dogs, cats, birds, fish - even the wild animals that I've come to love over the years like dolphins and beautiful fish and even living things like plants and gardening. This SOOOO comes from my mother. And again - not that Daddy doesn't appreciate those things. Just that mom is so over the top so in love with living things that it is clearly from her that my appreciation for the other living things comes. She melts when anything alive is hurting. No holding back of emotions. That always spoke to the size of her heart. Things like birds and fish (or turtles crossing the road) even that could not snuggle or comfort - these things saw an outpouring of love from my mom.

- Gifts given to mom were always followed by oooooos and ohhhhhhs of delight. It didn't matter if it was the ugliest pot she'd ever seen. It didn't matter if it was a potholder that didn't look quite right. To mom, if it came from someone she loved, it was precious and treasured. I hope I'm like that. I can't be sure because I'm on the outside looking in. I know that if the nieces and nephews make me something, it is truly the best thing in the world.

I know that mom has had thoughts in the past that she was secondary to the people we became but I am happy to say that she is so much a part of the person I have become. Not just because of the above but because she created a safe and loving home where I could grow up to be the woman that God made me. Always knowing that I was loved was how mom worked. And I hope she sees that as the earthly foundation for our lives that made everything else possible.