Friday, April 30, 2010

Funny nostalgia.....

I was just thinking....Years and years ago when I was dating I had the hardest time. Bad things would happen in my relationships: deception, serial cheating, realizing the guy had no moral compass, "I just don't love you", etc., etc., etc. Ugly. And as smart as I claimed to be in other areas, I was like a dog with a rotten bone. I could never let go. I was thinking (while cutting the grass ;) that I so much wanted to do the smart thing but this part of me just couldn't let it go. I wanted to keep at it - keep trying. I hated it about myself and alternately talked about it like I was proud of it because I could never really figure that part of me out. I stuck around for stuff I should NEVER have put up with. And while I WOULD NOT recommend it and hope desperately that my nieces have a much greater sense of themselves in Christ, something occurred to me. But for all that stubborness and belief that things would get better if we tried harder, Bob and I would never have made it through the bad stuff. The exact thing that I look back with distaste on is the very preservative that God gave me to hang in there when things went south of ugly in my marriage. God is so very good.

1 comment:

Susanz Place said...

I so get what you are saying here girl. I always find it interesting that if we can look at what has been yuck in our lives of who we can be but then see that same thing used by God - WOW night and day right!!
I liken it to flesh and spirit. Who God has created us to be in the spirit is used so greatly by Him but that same thing used in our flesh is very much a disaster. It just always reminds me that we are all fearfully and wonderfully made. NO MISTAKES BY OUR CREATOR!!! AMEN for that.