Loving IT!

The small group study I am leading right now is on Bill Hybel's book "Too Busy Not to Pray." It's encouraged me to take up journaling my prayers again and do something else that I haven't done in awhile - review my earlier prayers. It is truly amazing. Today, I read the prayer that I prayed on 12/25/2007 and it was astonishing the love that I gushed for God. Particularly interesting because I am having trouble right now in the adoration department of my prayer life. It was so genuine my wonder at where life had so recently been in comparison to where God was pointing us. I think right now I have to unlearn some things about my prayer life - something that has me checking off a box each day that I did it. I am such an organization freak that I think I lose some of the intensity of it because I'm just doing it - going through the motions. And as the song says, "Don't want to go through the motions, don't want to go one more day without your all consuming power inside of me. Don't want to spend my whole life asking, what if I had given everything, instead of going through the motions." So that is my prayer right now, whatever is holding me back, whatever I am doing or not doing in disobedience to God - please get rid of it!!! As I look back at my prayers for that day, I was begging for humility and obedience. He gave it. And so I beg for it even deeper. God give me what I am afraid to get.

Again - so very long!!

In the last 7 weeks my work life has changed enormously. It went from fearfully perilous to comfortably efficient. On June 3, the parent company I work for laid off half of their staff and cut our portion of the company off from any financial assistance. It changed everything. The place I hoped I would work until I no longer worked changed. It was no longer safe and secure. It went from being a family to being a job. I went from having a home away from home to an office again. I know it was supposed to be that way. Maybe God saw that I was becoming too comfortable and relying too much on that ease. It changed and so I began looking at things different. And things became very different. No longer was there an odd supervisory relationship between me and several EIP employees. Where there was once an authority exerted over me to establish the hierarchy, now there was no support at all. It was disappointing. But Joel was back to being my direct boss. Over these last few weeks, we've re-established our close relationship. He's sought my help with decisions and I've renewed my respect for the way he's been handling things - calmly and with a level rational head. He's been encouraging and grateful. And I've made sure that he knows that I'm here until they tell me to go.

I no longer have someone to back me up if I had a day off. So when I found out that EIP was working 8-4 shifts which I couldn't take advantage of, I asked Joel to let me work from home. He agreed and before the end of last month I was working from home. It's been a balancing act. I think I'm doing okay for the time being but balance has never been my thing. I feel like I've been getting a lot done at work and home is benefitting too.

So now I'm back. Lots of other things have happened over that time. Good stuff. Growing stuff. But that will wait. I'll catch this up soon enough now that life is back to strange normal..... :)