Theological Consternation

Over the last years God has brought me to a church that wasn't my human choice. I had to surpress my knee jerk reaction and submit to the will of my Father. And it's no surprise that He knew best for me. Iron City Church has been an amazing place to grow closer to God. During these last 17 months, I have learned that some of the same things that I had learned to criticize were not what I thought and not what I'd been taught or what I thought I understood.

- Raising hands during worship was not born out of some hyper-spiritual, self-righteous need to be seen as uber-holy.
- Emotion is a form of worship that is wholly acceptable to God.
- Dying to self is not an attempt to be martyr-ish.
- Mission work is not just for missionaries and outreach is a command.
- A personal relationship with Jesus comes out of application of knowledge of Him. It takes both.
- Some apologetics are worth fighting over. Some are not.
- Faith alone in Christ alone is the truth and as basic as this is, people skew it but not because they are trying to taint Scripture and the Truth but because it is sometimes confusing.....
- Very few of the things that I learned about that were elsewhere occuring in the evangelical Christian world were motivated by what I thought.
- Much of the motivation I perceived came out of some disputes my parents had with other family about God and faith. And experience does not make truth.
- Questions on being saved are not just one sided.

Anyway. I've found those things to be true. But it makes me very sad that there's not been balance.

In my new church there is a discounting that the flock needs brought and then taught. I see that in Bob when he reads passages on his own. Small groups help when there is a Bible study involved. But it's not enough and there is a reason God has called some people to teach as well as evangelize. It's important when you are sending people out that they are equipped.

In my old church, there was a neglecting of the fellowship, outreach, and sharing of the gospel. Fellowship has been SOOO important. And not just for support. It's also been the greatest test of faith and patience EVER. And outreach and evangelism are uncomfortable because the enemy wants it not to happen - because GOD WANTS IT TO HAPPEN. And it's hard. And personally, if Tommy wasn't busting my butt over it, I'd still be thinking differently.

I don't know. Both of those pieces are SO CRITICAL to me today. Let me say this loud and clear, I have been saved since I can remeber and Jesus Christ has been my Savior since I was old enough to know what that meant. But I am the follower of Christ I am today BECAUSE OF BOTH PIECES. I was no less saved because I was an immature kid who didn't know HOW to submit myself completely to the power of the Holy Spirit. I am no "holy roller" now because I feel compelled to tell everyone I know on Facebook and even by standing out on McKnight Road that they should come to Iron City. I just know what kind of person Jesus has made me into and I can't hold it in anymore. I don't want to take off PTO days this summer to help with mission kids because I'm trying to be holier than thou!! I'm not!!! I'm still not even sure I like that idea. But I think God is pushing me to be less selfish with my time and that is because of ICC.

My wonderful friend Carrie just pointed out that the disciples were pretty much boneheads while Christ was with them. Idiots. Peter - the greatest and the least of them. They loved Christ and believed in him but they were not mature in their faith until years later..... I need to stop questioning when I was saved because of what people say or imply. I need to stop worrying about what people think of the new church I'm part of - if it's enough. I know right now that I am being obedient to God's direction. And He's the only one who matters. What a relief.....

Wow

Well, it's only been a little more than two weeks since my last post and I swear. I've had a world of things going on. Most of them spiritual - some dramatic outwardly and other all about the inside.

I hate to brief synopsis these things but they are so big that I fear that the overwhelm will make them go unmentioned altogether and that would make me sad and defeat the purpose of this as a spiritual growth chart. So - here goes:

- Last Beth Moore bible study, the group decided it was my turn to be loved on. We've been going around and being loving and affirming to one person. I was concerned that I'd focus too much on the opinions of others but after a long list of things that were decidedly NOT who I see myself as - like humble, approachable, modeling a tremendous love of God and His Word through my marriage, confident in myself, beautiful...... Well, it occured to me that this was my transformation. All these months, I've looked beaming with loving pride at the work that God was doing in Bob. Quite honestly, with more than a little envy that He was doing such great things in him. And after comments in the last weeks by Laura and Emily and others about me not being the person I see - whether physically or just me seeing myself as the person I used to be..... God's message came through loud and clear. I am not what I was. I have become a new creation too. And that person is not the arrogant, selfish, inconsiderate person that I was before. Oh - I still have my moments - being judgemental and insecure and all the drama that goes with that. But make no mistake, I am the person I am today because of the tremendous power of Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit in me. See? Just a little thing....

- Unleash and NewSpring Church - Anderson, SC - Um - I don't even know where to start. It was utterly overwhelming to be there at all. Bob and I traveled by van 12 1/2 hours to SC with our recently acquired church family. 3 vans. Close quarters. People from vastly different backgrounds. We lived through the trip down. I was sold on the energy I hoped it would bring to all of us to experience this together. When I saw the awesome lake house - I was really sold. It was awesome.

These were photos taken on my phone of the worship band playing in the Youth Center, where we were seated. That place was incredible. Like movie stadium seating and the screen rose out of the center of the stage when the pastor came on.

Off to NewSpring Church the next day. I can't begin to explain how powerful being part of the congregation was to me. I missed that total worship experience (not being up front leading) and - as expected - the music and the situation and God's endless love for both of us in bringing us there together - brought me to tears. By the time Bob was done with the first break out session he was smiling from ear to ear. And that was just planning the service. Jason, Bob and I got a mess of stuff from Lee McDerment's worship leading break out. Not technical things - worship leading principles to live by. God clearly was working on some of the flags I throw up with ICC. My biggest takeaway was that I need to submit to the authority of God, my pastor, my worship leader and my husband - without question. All of those positions report ultimately to God and so I have to show some faith and follow after these men in my life. In essence, by trusting them, I am showing a faith in God's plan for me. And it isn't exactly a shock that I have issues submitting to authority so this whole year of humbling of myself has led to this. I have to be willing to support my pastor in his calling from God. I have to be willing to support my husband and worship leader in his calling from God. I have Tommy's back. I have Bob's back. And when they ask me to do something, I will do it. If my dad ever reads this his eyes will bug out of his head and he will be asking, "Where the heck was that when you were MY problem!??" :)

Check these folks at NewSpring out www.newspring.cc. Their volunteers are completely off the hook!!! They had 350 volunteers there on a Thursday!! When we walked in about 100 people talked to you and welcomed you and cheered for us and talked to the guys about their Steeler's shirts (they were sure easy to id!!) In fact by the second main session, people had heard about the crazy folk who drove from Pittsburgh, PA. And their staff doesn't just work at church, Jesus Christ is working in them.....

- Perry Noble is an in-your-face, politically incorrect, "I'm a sinner too", "take what the Bible says or leave it cuz that's the way it is" kind of guy. Hmmmm - so is Tommy. I like that. I love it, in fact, and I think God does too. There's way more in common with the pastors of my youth than it first appears.

- The bonding that went on on Friday is beyond words. We sat together for 7 1/2 hours for a debriefing session and while it could have been long and tedious, it was beyond words. Powerful. Some people made some extremely important decisions that day. And I think we were all changed by what we saw God doing in all of our lives because of Iron City Church.

- God lead all of us to look at how we behaved with one another. Ouch. We all were a bit assaulted by how brutal we could be with each other. Thanks to the wisdom of a few people that shared what they felt like God was teaching them, we all had a chance to shine a bright light on some of the darker parts of our nature - like being critical and judgmental of each other, showing impatience rather than love. We're all going to try harder to be accountable to each other in our behavior rather than being a sounding board for our criticisms.....

That's a lot. A lot of growth. A lot of inspriration. A lot of revelation. A lot of God moving and working in our lives. And as usual - it isn't like it's a little movement. These were hang onto your hat, install hand railings size, register on the richter scale shakes. I love it. And the crazy thing is just a few weeks ago as my Esther study began, I was lamenting a perceived (and yet NOT REAL) distance from God. As always - be careful what you ask the God of the Universe for ..... :) He often gives it..... :)